Lord, who am I? You live in me. So what does that make me? Where do you end and I begin? Am I everything bad and evil, and you everything that's good? Am I just a personality inside a flesh case of failure? Data that dictates my tendencies?
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Lord I need you so much. I want so badly to live a life that honors you. I really wish you were a human being, sitting next to me- to teach me and to guide me. But for now the Bible shall be my friend. Your unchanging word.
I have hidden your word in my heart, that I might not sin against you.
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The gift of wisdom is a strange thing. I feel like I have such easy access in understanding things- I hear the Lords voice often and in detail. I know when to apply certain verses and I understand and figure out things, long before they're taught to me, or I even have a name for them.
However, wisdom doesn't come with discipline or self control. I know exactly what I should do, when I should do it, how often to do it, and who I should do it with- but I seldom ever do it correctly. Even thought I know. I enjoy the gift of wisdom, and I value it deeply, but I almost wish I had the gift of self control... But I suppose if I had both, I'd have very little reason to rely on God.
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