Creationism.. (how's that a title for ya?!)

I like to think about our world. How.. wonderfully everything is made like a puzzle piece. Have you ever really thought about it? How perfectly things work out. It always puzzles me that people don't think that we were created. I watch speeches and read articles written by highly educated people; grown people, who say the world came from the "Big Bang" or who aren't really interested where it came from but feel we weren't created.

Think about it..
Why do we sleep with the night? How do babies know to laugh when they're happy? How do our bodies fit together so well, whether it comes to making love or just holding hands? Our eyes constantly blink to keep our eyes wet. Why are our eyes even wet?!

How did we create not one, but hundreds of languages to communicate with?

Have you ever taken a science class? Do you understand how incredibly complicated a cell is? If one thing were to go wrong or be even slightly different, our whole body would be dysfunctional.

How do animals have instinct enough to stay together? Or even instinct at all? What is it about our insides that give humans discretion?

We get fruit from trees and vegetables from the ground! Made especially for eating! It's beautiful! Why do we dance when we hear music? And sing when we're happy?

And what I love about people is how different we are! I understand that that sounds cheesy and it's over used but.. I was helping a friend on a piece of music he was working on. He had trouble getting the pitch right, but I hear it for the first time and can sing along with it almost perfectly as the song continues. There is something about me that makes me capable to hear a difference that he doesn't have. BUT he is far better than me at running. And not just because I'm overweight. He can run for days and no matter how hard I try and assert myself I could never be like him.

Girls are soft and curvy where men are strong and firm. Our bodies know the best way to keep us alive and healthy in every situation.

We have the capability to love! Love.. man. Love is crazy. Makes you do crazy things. Honestly. Remember that boy/girl from grade school that you had your first crush on? How giddy and electric they made you feel? Or how you feel when you look into the face of son or daughter. Maybe a little brother or sister. A cousin. A young child in your life, and you look into their young, innocent, soft faces. And you think to yourself "You are the most beautiful boy/girl in the entire world." And you just want life to be perfect for them. And for them to have everything they ever wanted. When they say their first words, ride a bike for the first time, first day of school, how their face lights up when you tell them they're going to Disneyland.

Where did this love come from if we weren't created? People argue that we evolved from other animals taking the parts we need and changing so we can survive more efficiently. What then, is the point of love? If you think about it, it's more dangerous than useful.

I'm feeling great tonight.

My mom just left for the hospital. I didn't think it was really a big deal until I faced the reality of it.
Ron left and my brothers not here. I'm here in the house all by myself.

It's so hard to no cry.
I love her so much. I try not to assume the worst.
I  might be over reacting but I want her to see me get married. I want her to spoil her grandkids with love and toys. I want her to see me graduate college because she didn't get to.

I wish someone was here with me.
Please pray for her. Her name is Mindy and she's the greatest mommy ever.

New Semester; New Beginning

I'm sure the last thing you would like to be doing is reading a list of my hectic life for the next semester, but... well I guess don't read this then. (As if some one reads my blog anyway) :P

I start Faith Works Bible College today! I wish I was there now, I'm SO excited.

I'm also starting school again at MCC:
-Acting 2
-Racial and Ethnic Minorities
-Spanish 1
-Intro to Theatre

All I really need now is an online math class!

THEN, on Sunday mornings and Wednesday nights I have Radial youth group. Which is always the highlight of my week!

THEN, on Sunday nights I will be going to Vertigo, the young adult service.

I will still be going to Scripts on Strikes rehearsal where I will be attending as an Improver in Training. (Or a IT)

I will still be going to Camber, the young adult service for Cornerstone, on Thursday nights when I'm not working.

THEN, I'm doing a weekly acting thing for Grace Kids where I get my script on Sunday, rehearse on Wednesday, and perform on Saturday night. I also help with worship for the Grace Kids and Radial.

I will still be working Thursday and Fridays at Popcornopolis! handing out popcorn samples at various Costco's.

And lastly, I'm  still hoping to have a social life. To be honest, it's not going to be as difficult as it sounds but it's still going to be difficult. I'm going through a phase in my life where God is trying to teach me obedience and self-discipline and it's been probably the hardest thing I've ever had to do.

But I met a guy my age the other day who was holding a sign next to a free way exit, the other day. He was clean, handsome, and a very nice guy who had lost his job and apartment and was just looking for work and collecting money to pay for a motel every night. My heart hurt so much for him. I know there are people in way worse situations but this particular situation really hit home for me.

I'm going to be grateful for every opportunity to learn and try the hardest I can to be a good student. And to take advantage of these situations to show the love and passion of God to hurting onlookers. I have such a great feeling in my stomach about Gods plans.

It's Gods turn to take over my life and for me to put down the planner and break free of the stress.

Don't Be Sad

All around me people are so... broken. They hurt so much that I hurt too. I don't understand really. People who are gorgeous, intelligent, funny, charismatic.

It's like they invent things to hate about themselves.

They put themselves on this skyscraper for the world to see and marvel at, but never touch. And the one time they're brave enough to allow someone to be up close, they get hurt and climb up even high away from onlookers.

I try and tell them, "No! You're beautiful! You're hilarious! You're so fun to be around! You're amazing and the Lord loves you so much!" but it never seems to do the trick.

It's upsetting.

Often I feel as though I am sitting in a chair in a windowless room with no doors. Calm. Happy. But surrounded by people who are bruised or dramatic or lonely or angry or bitter or cold. I try to get up from my chair to go to them but I'm tied down. I scream at them "Please! Listen! Stop telling yourselves these lies!" But they're so caught up in the pain that they almost ignore the easily accessible joy.

They're too afraid to take a step away from their safe place to reach for happiness.

My actions and words always seem to hardly scrape the surface but I hope my prayers dig deep.