So as far as writing consistently, we all go through lulls. Some people like to make sure and post something a certain amount of times in a decent sized time frame, which really is a great skill, but I feel my skills succeed most when I write when I'm inspired.
Unfortunately, what inspired me to write today, right now, was this whole PENN State controversy. I feel like I may have had a faint notion that there was some kind of ruckus involving college football, but besides that I honestly had no idea that anything had happened at all until just this morning at church.
Our Pastor mentioned something about it during the sermon today, on how this man (Sandusky) had compromised his honor or something. I don't really remember because I told Nate to look it up on his phone so we would know what Terry was talking about. Nate found this website: http://www.nydailynews.com/sports/college/penn-state-scandal-timeline-sex-abuse-scandal-rocked-happy-valley-article-1.976843 and after glancing over it with a nauseous look on his face, he handed over his phone so that I could share in the horror of these mans crimes.
They quoted Sandusky in 1998 paragraph, something that he had said to one of the little boys and something about that phrase has been singed into my brain. I'm so upset I almost feel numb. Something about it was so disturbing. Like a really bad nightmare. Even now, the phrase is playing over and over in my head and I... I feel something towards that man, but not hatred. Maybe something similar, but more resembling.. I guess disgust would be the best word. But it's more than that. Slimey, corroded, dirty, diseased, sinister.
As an audience member to the continuous retelling of this awful story, one is asked: What do you think should happen to him? I don't have a personal answer to this question. I guess my best response would be "Whatever the court deems necessary." It's obvious that as an infuriated group of Americans our minds jump straight to cruelty of some sort. Which is definitely reasonable. My mom suggested castration, and even others have gone as far as the death penalty. Which both, as extreme as they are, merit the thought of consideration due to the rigorousness of the charges. I mean, these boys are going to have to deal with this for as long as they live. God knows what sorts of psychological damage could stem from these acts. I almost feel like murdering the kids would have not been as bad as what Sandusky.
Then I started to compared the two. Sexual Abuse and Murder. So many people feel that the latter should be a price to pay for the former. Which would put the two things on the same level. The two worst things you could do to a person is kill them and rape them... it's awful.
My next thought was that God sees all sin as the same. There is no sin greater or lesser than the other. Which, from that thought, sprouted two ideas. One very beautiful, and one quite upsetting. The first one being: God, in his all powerful majesty and wisdom, love myself and Sandusky the exact same. He could never love me more than he loves him. To God, that man is beautiful. But me? Equally beautiful.
And the less excited idea being: I AM on the same level of Sandusky. My sin is just as disgusting and wicked as this mans... and if you think about it, it really puts things in perspective.
Sometimes I don't even try to stop sinning. In fact, while I'm doing it I get this feel of recognition of my actions, and then carry on like I didn't even care. Sometimes I regret it later, sometimes I don't. But I'm not being arrested and my bail is not $100,000. Of course, our sins are still different. My sin isn't immediately hurting anyone and I don't think it puts anyone danger.
... Thinking about it is upsetting and uplifting at the same time. I wrote this blog in hopes to inspire my readers to view their sin a different way and perhaps give them the right motivation to kick-start their desire to get rid of or control their sin.
But I no longer wish to think about this... my brain is over loaded. Maybe I'll finish my thoughts on the topic in another later blog, but I think I got the important parts down.
