Brief Testimony/A Question for You

I'm on of those people who check the box that says "I don't remember when I became a Christian" as opposed to writing a specific date or year.

(NOTE: if you don't want to read my story/testimony, you can just skip down to the last two paragraphs)

I remember going to church in a small church in a plaza as a kid and making fun of the older ladies who would speak in tongues. I would hate it when they made me pray by myself. It honestly felt like 30 minutes that they'd make us do it even though it was probably somewhere around 8. I remember for the first 30 seconds honestly asking God for things like "make my moms foot stop hurting" and "for me to get awesome stuff for Christmas." But after those 30 seconds I would run out of stuff to say and be jealous of the people around me who could think of more stuff to say, and then I would just get bored.

I remember once getting in trouble and my dad making me sit in the corner by his bed while he napped. He mentioned something about the devil being bad or to act more like Jesus before putting me in time out. And just as he was dozing off I muttered to myself "I love the Devil" just to spite him, not really knowing the seriousness of what I had said. He rolled over and sternly told me to never say that again, and then went back to sleep. At the age of 7 I can honestly say that I had felt terrible about what I had said.

Moving on. I remember at age 9, my family and I had went to the church service called X-treme aimed to a younger crowd. I remember they had poets, loud music, short skits, and a whole lot of black people. I had watched a very deep skit about how people had turned their back on Jesus and he STILL died for them. This made me so emotional that when they asked if there was anyone who wanted to give their life to Christ that night, my hand was the first up. I felt truly emotional.

We went the next week and at the end they asked the same question and again my hand shot in the air. My mom leaned over to me and told me that I couldn't give my life over to Christ every week. I was almost offended by it. But I did as I was told.

I remember growing older and going to Jr. High. I went to church once in a while because there was this boy I liked at church. I remember having this really awful dream where I was waiting in this really long line that lead down to this tunnel thing, the kind you might see on the free way. Then I looked over far away and saw another line that lead to this giant, futuristic-looking elevator. As I neared the front of the line I realized that I was in line for Hell and the other line was an elevator to Heaven. I asked the lady checking us in why I was going to Hell. After checking her clip-board she replied "Brianna Taft? It says here that you're going to Hell because the only reason you went to church was to see a boy. Please come forward." After waking up I felt so convicted that I made an honest commitment to seek a relationship with Him.

I fell into self hatred and, after leaving my dad, life was so difficult. Jr High was so awkward because I was just coming out of the tomboy phase and kids at school were so horrible.

It wasn't until the summer after 9th grade that I decided it was time to make a stand in my faith. I started attending church regularly and made efforts to deal with my issues, without the motivation of my family. I found rides to and from church on my own, even if that meant waling or taking the bus. Of course I have a loving God-fearing family but, at that point in time, church wasn't really a priority to them.

At this point in my life, I can say that I'm so head over heels for God that I'm pretty much unstoppable. I feel solid in my faith. There is this bible verse: Psalm 22:9-10  "Yet you brought me safely from my mother's womb and led me to trust you when I was a nursing infant. I was thrust upon you at my birth. You have been my God from the moment I was born." (NLT)


I feel like this verse is really about me. I often tell people that I've been blessed with faith. People always ask me for evidence of God and why I believe and to explain how I came to be a Christian. They try to get me to understand why I'm wrong. But the truth is, I can't. Honest truth. I can't tell you why I believe it. I just do. I always have. I've never believed that there wasn't a God. Even as a young child. Some people believed as children just as they did Santa and the tooth fairy but once they got older they just stopped. Me? I never did. I've tried living days without God. A 'trial run' if you will, and I couldn't get away from the fact that I was just pretending the believe something I didn't. Like if you were to walk around saying the sky wasn't really blue because that's what everyone else believed. But deep down you couldn't really dismiss the fact that the sky really was blue.


Jesus just makes sense to me.


I look at people who have recently found their faith within the last few years. Once a devout Jew, Atheist, Catholic, Jehovah's Witness, going through the motions. And now taking part in a love relationship with Jesus. And I'm jealous!! How great it must feel to experience the love of Christ for the first time! To feel clean and loved for the first time. I feel like I've been dating this guy since I was 9, and I'm just watching other people starting their first relationship as adults, and not remembering that magic. Of course it's been amazing. I've been able to learn so much because of it. I feel like I have knowledge to share with my students and church and wisdom from a girl who has been in their shoes.


But the reason I've shared my story and have written this note is because I would like to ask all of the people who have not been a Christian they're whole life, to explain to me what it's like to give your life to Him for the first time. What was that moment like? What did the week have to follow? What did your friends think? Were their major life changes? Do you think your the same person? How did it happen? You don't have to answer all of the questions but I'm dangerously curious. Thanks for reading!