I WANT TO BE AN ACTOR thereisaidit

(Currently listening to The Funeral by Band of Horses)

I have known that I wanted to be an actor ever since I was in elementary school. Of course my actual vision of what that means to me has morphed and shaped over the years, but it's like I wasn't even me before that's what I decided I wanted to do.

Anyways, most of you reading this are probably already aware of my passions for theatre. But I was moved to write this blog.

If you have ever studied acting in school or at an arts center or a studio, you have probably been told to not quit your day job. (In a completely non-offensive way.) For those of you who haven't heard this, it pretty much means: Acting (especially for the stage) is not a realist method of income. Even if you are getting cast into show back-to-back, it usually isn't enough to sustain a home, car, and family. So acting coaches/teacher will tell you to find something else that you enjoy doing or you're good at to support your acting career. Yes, by all means pursue your acting with every ounce of ambition your heart can give, but maybe be a teacher (for example) to support yourself.

For the longest time I told myself that I was just going to act for fun. I was going to find a "real job" and whenever I got the chance to act, I would. In the past 4 years, this job has changed several times: makeup artist, playwright, director, producer, publicist, set designer, and most recently: scenic carpenter. If I got job doing any of these things I would be a really happy camper.

But I recently joined The Megaw Actors Studio and there has just been something stirring inside of me, ever since. I can't get away from the fact that I am so in love with acting. And not this puppy dog love that kids in jr. high have. It's almost biblical. It's not just a feeling I'm having, it's a commitment. My love goes deep enough that it makes me enjoy the tedious things about acting: memorizing, paperwork, long rehearsals, annoying cast-mates, lack of sleep, early call times, running the same scene over and over and over and over so that by the last run you feel ready to scream and attack your director.

I'm certainly not making a spectacle of my love for theatre, nor am I trying to prove that it's genuine. I've just decided that I don't want to act on the side. Today I am stating that this is what I want to do with my life. I want this to be my career and I want to die doing it. And if this statement changes next year, or even if it changes in a few weeks: okay. But right now I am ready, World!