I've had so many ideas and epiphanies lately. Let's see if I can stay focused and coherent enough for it to make sense.
Seasoned Christians are extremely familiar with the idea that being in a relationship with Christ isn't always about a physical feeling. After a series of unpredicted events (including reading my bible, reading a section in a bible study guide, watching a cartoon that mocked Christians, responding to controversial facebook statuses, and meeting with a mormon missionary today), I have felt the idea of "choice" being super duper heavy on my heart.
From the beginning with Adam and Eve we have always been able to choose God. That is what love is! Love isn't a feeling or something we can't control! Love is a choice!
Love is sacrificing your career so you can stay at home and raise your children. Love is giving a hefty amount of money to someone in need, even if it might set you back a bit. Love is choosing to stay with someone and provide for them, even when you don't currently feel a romantic feeling for them. Love is so many things, but the number one thing it is is a choice.
Jesus chose to die for our sins. He didn't do it because he was forced to.
ANYWAYS.
Some times God will step back from your life and be distant. Some Christians call this a "dry season". You don't feel a whole lot of emotions and you might even feel disconnected. But can I say that it is impossible to be disconnected when you are in a real relationship with Jesus Christ? The Holy Spirit LIVES INSIDE OF YOU. The Holy Spirit doesn't leave you because you feel distant!
God makes himself distant so you can learn to have faith and CHOOSE him. Otherwise, your faith could just be given to the highest bidder that can make you feel the most.
There aren't just good spirits in this world that can affect your emotions. Satan (our Enemy) can also affect us in certain ways. And we have all probably experienced temporary fixes for our hard times. Alcohol, drugs, sex. Maybe not even something that hardcore: cuddling, exercise, partying, dancing, reading. These things are not bad!! They are all great in moderation and at the correct time. But some times they can be our quick fixes for joy or happiness, but God is the only thing that can give us that everlasting joy. Even when life is down and terrible things are happening to us.
During dry seasons, things like changing religions, changing relationships, quitting your jobs or other drastic things can seem so appealing because they will make you FEEL something.
But these times are so important to our Farther. Because these are the times that we have to make a conscious effort to choose him. To say to him "God I feel far away. Doubt is surfacing and my faith is starting to sound confusing and foolish, but I will wait patiently for you. I choose YOU Lord. This is hard but I know that you are there and you are waiting patiently for me too. Thank you."
And out of situations like this is our faith grown. Our love for him can blossom He will show us new things through our perseverance.
I hope this makes sense.
The moral of the story is that being in relationship with Christ is ALWAYS a choice. You don't make the choice once and then your set for life. It's constantly having to choose him over life and mostly over yourself.
